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It is commonly assumed that if you're not being physically abused by your partner, then you're not a victim of violence.
But that is not necessarily true. There is something far more insidious in relationships that many victims aren't even aware of. Emotional abuse! It is as damaging as physical abuse, though it is often harder to recognise, and therefore confront.
Does your partner frequently criticise you, undermine your self esteem, and humiliate you? Do you hold back expressing yourself fearing ridicule or being yelled at for doing so? Have you been isolated from your family and friends and is your partner controlling of your life, work and money? Do you feel powerless, fearful and dependent in your relationship? Has your relationship eroded your sense of self, your self-esteem and your happiness? Do you perpetually get blamed for all that goes wrong? For e.g.; his drinking is caused by your nagging, you not doing things his way is the reason for his anger outbursts, his infidelity was because you put on weight and became unsexy. Emotional abusers are great at self deception and projecting blame onto their partners for their abusive actions and almost always make continual declarations of "changing" and "how much they love the partner" to keep victim partners firmly in their grip.
It might be wise to opt for counselling because psychological and emotional abuse may not always lead to physical abuse, but physical violence in domestic relationships is almost always preceded and accompanied by psychological abuse.
I'm a guy in a relationship for the last two and a half years. Lately, my girlfriend has been getting very angry for no reason and becoming uncontrollable. We had a big fight recently, and she slapped me and I hit her back till she bled. But I managed to pacify her. Later again we had a fight, and I did not want to leave her alone as she has attempted suicide once before. I was fed up with all this and decided to take a break. But now she is sorry for what she has done. I'm worried because I hail from an orthodox family. My parents will not approve of her behaviour even if I manage to convince them for our marriage. But all said and done, she is very loving and caring. This is really taking a toll on our professional lives as well.
There are multiple issues that need to be addressed here. Two wrongs do not make a right. You have absolutely NO right to hit a woman, no matter what the provocation. If that is something you have never done before, the last thing you want is to commit to a woman that brings out the worst in you. As for her, she needs to go for professional counselling to deal with her rage control issues and suicidal tendencies. There is no point even considering this unhealthy alliance unless all these issues are resolved first.
I am a 20-year-old virgin and I had a two and a half month relationship with a 30-year-old married man who lied to me at first saying he is unmarried and then fooled me by saying that he doesn't have any relationship with his wife. I blindly agreed and even got physically intimate in my home. Later, I tried my best to break up. Now after three months this guilty feeling of lying to my parents and getting intimate is still haunting me. Was it my fault? Is it necessary to tell my future husband about my past? Because of my past relationship, I feel making love is a mechanical thing, is it true?
What you have experienced is your naivety at 20. It is possible that you ignored warning signals in your desire to be with him, but do not, for one minute, believe that there was any mal-intent or deception from your end. As for your future, love is something beautiful and meaningful shared between two people and honesty is a part of it. However, if you feel that you would like to bury your past, make sure that it's buried and not living in your heart or head.
I had been somewhere once to meet my friends. There I met a girl who was my friend's friend. Later on my way back home, my best friend said he also noticed her. I think he said it was love at first sight. He doesn't even know her but he's asking me to talk to her on his behalf. He's kind of attracted to her. Please guide me in this case where I will be just a messenger boy.
You're playing cupid in a sense so weigh and aim the arrow with care. First, enquire from your friend whether she is involved with anyone, or fresh out of a relationship and what kind of person she is. If all is clear, and it's not a situation to be handled with caution, befriend her and tell her she has a secret admirer.. .and that you will list his five best qualities and if she approves you would get the two to meet. Laugh and add, "How can it hurt? At best just say 'thanks for the coffee' dazzle him for the last time with your smile and walk away!"
I am a 20-year-old boy. I'm in love with a girl of the same age. She loves me and bears a lot of pain for me, but I think that she wouldn't be in my future because she has a lot of suitors. She said she only loves me, but I can't believe my luck at times. What should I do? Marry her? (My girlfriend has a good impression where everybody likes her and this makes me tense. I tried to break up once but she gets really upset, but I never want any guy to turn up with chocolates or flowers again. I hate her sometimes because she smiles at these guys.)
First all of this jealousy, insecurity and not believing in yourself and your own self worth reeks of immaturity. You say you want to marry her and in the same breath say you tried to break-up because other people like her. It's not a person's fault if others like them. Celebrities have thousands of die-hard fans and ardent admirers that would do anything to be with them, but that shouldn't make their partners insecure! What matters is who they like. And in your case your partner is clearly committed to you. Breathe, relax and first enjoy the relationship and create a loving stable environment before even thinking of marriage.
But that is not necessarily true. There is something far more insidious in relationships that many victims aren't even aware of. Emotional abuse! It is as damaging as physical abuse, though it is often harder to recognise, and therefore confront.
Does your partner frequently criticise you, undermine your self esteem, and humiliate you? Do you hold back expressing yourself fearing ridicule or being yelled at for doing so? Have you been isolated from your family and friends and is your partner controlling of your life, work and money? Do you feel powerless, fearful and dependent in your relationship? Has your relationship eroded your sense of self, your self-esteem and your happiness? Do you perpetually get blamed for all that goes wrong? For e.g.; his drinking is caused by your nagging, you not doing things his way is the reason for his anger outbursts, his infidelity was because you put on weight and became unsexy. Emotional abusers are great at self deception and projecting blame onto their partners for their abusive actions and almost always make continual declarations of "changing" and "how much they love the partner" to keep victim partners firmly in their grip.
It might be wise to opt for counselling because psychological and emotional abuse may not always lead to physical abuse, but physical violence in domestic relationships is almost always preceded and accompanied by psychological abuse.
I'm a guy in a relationship for the last two and a half years. Lately, my girlfriend has been getting very angry for no reason and becoming uncontrollable. We had a big fight recently, and she slapped me and I hit her back till she bled. But I managed to pacify her. Later again we had a fight, and I did not want to leave her alone as she has attempted suicide once before. I was fed up with all this and decided to take a break. But now she is sorry for what she has done. I'm worried because I hail from an orthodox family. My parents will not approve of her behaviour even if I manage to convince them for our marriage. But all said and done, she is very loving and caring. This is really taking a toll on our professional lives as well.
There are multiple issues that need to be addressed here. Two wrongs do not make a right. You have absolutely NO right to hit a woman, no matter what the provocation. If that is something you have never done before, the last thing you want is to commit to a woman that brings out the worst in you. As for her, she needs to go for professional counselling to deal with her rage control issues and suicidal tendencies. There is no point even considering this unhealthy alliance unless all these issues are resolved first.
I am a 20-year-old virgin and I had a two and a half month relationship with a 30-year-old married man who lied to me at first saying he is unmarried and then fooled me by saying that he doesn't have any relationship with his wife. I blindly agreed and even got physically intimate in my home. Later, I tried my best to break up. Now after three months this guilty feeling of lying to my parents and getting intimate is still haunting me. Was it my fault? Is it necessary to tell my future husband about my past? Because of my past relationship, I feel making love is a mechanical thing, is it true?
What you have experienced is your naivety at 20. It is possible that you ignored warning signals in your desire to be with him, but do not, for one minute, believe that there was any mal-intent or deception from your end. As for your future, love is something beautiful and meaningful shared between two people and honesty is a part of it. However, if you feel that you would like to bury your past, make sure that it's buried and not living in your heart or head.
I had been somewhere once to meet my friends. There I met a girl who was my friend's friend. Later on my way back home, my best friend said he also noticed her. I think he said it was love at first sight. He doesn't even know her but he's asking me to talk to her on his behalf. He's kind of attracted to her. Please guide me in this case where I will be just a messenger boy.
You're playing cupid in a sense so weigh and aim the arrow with care. First, enquire from your friend whether she is involved with anyone, or fresh out of a relationship and what kind of person she is. If all is clear, and it's not a situation to be handled with caution, befriend her and tell her she has a secret admirer.. .and that you will list his five best qualities and if she approves you would get the two to meet. Laugh and add, "How can it hurt? At best just say 'thanks for the coffee' dazzle him for the last time with your smile and walk away!"
I am a 20-year-old boy. I'm in love with a girl of the same age. She loves me and bears a lot of pain for me, but I think that she wouldn't be in my future because she has a lot of suitors. She said she only loves me, but I can't believe my luck at times. What should I do? Marry her? (My girlfriend has a good impression where everybody likes her and this makes me tense. I tried to break up once but she gets really upset, but I never want any guy to turn up with chocolates or flowers again. I hate her sometimes because she smiles at these guys.)
First all of this jealousy, insecurity and not believing in yourself and your own self worth reeks of immaturity. You say you want to marry her and in the same breath say you tried to break-up because other people like her. It's not a person's fault if others like them. Celebrities have thousands of die-hard fans and ardent admirers that would do anything to be with them, but that shouldn't make their partners insecure! What matters is who they like. And in your case your partner is clearly committed to you. Breathe, relax and first enjoy the relationship and create a loving stable environment before even thinking of marriage.